We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I AM VODKA MAN
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
