Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
