some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
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