I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
