You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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