If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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