You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
