Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
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