Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
