What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
