No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
