Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
