so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
