There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
