I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize