My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize