Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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