Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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