you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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