I'm so fucking centered right now
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
They have beer where we have blood.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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