sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
