so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
