I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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