you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
