I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
