And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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