how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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