I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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