she looked like the before picture.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
