My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
