Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
