all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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