i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
