I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
