Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
