why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
