Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Randomize
