i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
