I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
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I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
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you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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