new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
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