I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
