I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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