Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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