sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
