Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
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