Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
