Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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