I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
