we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
wow bdsm is so cute
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
