I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
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Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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