I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
