Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
