You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
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DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
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