That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
