Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Randomize
