it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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