porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
