So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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