Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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