U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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