You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Randomize
