Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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