The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
