didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
