I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
