Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
