im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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